The Tops Questions I’m Asked as a Spiritual Director
In offering spiritual direction, I provide space for the other person to meet with God, for us together to spend time exploring what the Holy Spirit is doing in and around them. It is a sacred space where God shows up and moves in unique ways because he has made each of us individually. His relationship with each of us is special.
Even though each session is unique, there are a few commonalities. I am frequently asked two kinds of questions: questions about how to create and control our spiritual lives, and questions about how to live in connection with God.
How do I have more discipline? What do I do for quiet time? How often should I read, journal, pray? Can I add that here? What books should I read? There are also questions about how to live differently. How do you live in God’s love? How do you have freedom to do your relationship with God as an individual?
Friend, can we please stop asking how much or what if I do this… and instead allow God to love us where we are, to notice it doesn’t have to be complicated that quiet time can literally be having a cup of coffee with Jesus — intentional time with an intentional focus doing something you enjoy. He enjoys being with you. He longs to be with you. Could the invitation be to move from something on our to-do list, to something we get to do? We get to explore with God how he made us and how he connects to us in our lives.
I am going to answer two of these questions with that in mind. It's exploring God’s moment-by-moment invitations that lead to intimacy in our relationship with Christ. It's being the gift of yourself with him.
How do I have more discipline? Yes, it is true we need discipline in all relationships. In spiritual direction, we often explore spiritual disciplines — different practices used throughout church history that help create space to meet with God. To create discipline in your walk with God, you need to spend time exploring how you, uniquely created, connect to God. The reality is God is always with you and always loving you. For many of us yoga is a special place of meeting with God, as is journaling, nature, cooking, art, etc. It can literally be anything! The thing is finding what gives life and is naturally a space for prayer in your life, and then doing it regularly.
To find this, I often have people set alarms in their phones or write on sticky notes a nightly reflection: What was life giving today? How did I see the Holy Spirit? What was draining?
This helps us see how we naturally meet with God, and it allows us to begin to see God at work in our lives.
How do I live in God’s constant love?
Oh, friend. This is the journey we are all living — learning to live in God’s love and serve in that overflow. It’s so hard to truly live as God’s beloved. We do it by courageously stepping into who God has created us to be uniquely — not a robot Christian checking boxes — but being you. You are a gift of God to those with whom you do life. You bring yourself to events, meetings, games, etc.
So, the work is then learning how to become aware of God’s constant love. The answer is then becoming aware of God’s presence and allowing him to change our self-critical thoughts to an identity that is deeply loved by him who formed us and intimately knows us.
The reflection from above can be helpful. Take time for journaling, asking where you saw the gift of the Spirit today. Practice noticing the presence of God, how he is with you as you go about your day. Ask God what he is doing in and with each moment. Telling God how you feel, or daily examen, is helpful in learning to live in God’s love.
Friend, you are so loved.
If you want to chat further about ideas for connecting with God, or if you want to try spiritual direction, I would love to chat. You can email me at chelsea.f.montminy@gmail.com