For the Love of Movement: working out as a way to care for your body
When I was three years old, my mom put me in a ballet class. I only lasted a few weeks before we realized ballet was far too calm and structured for a talkative and high-energy child like myself, but that was my first encounter with “structured movement.” After ballet I tried a handful of other activities before finally landing on gymnastics at age seven. In all the ways that ballet had not been a good fit, gymnastics was the perfect sport for me.
It gave me the chance to challenge myself, learn discipline and experience what it was like to push my mind and body to new levels. I loved it. I stuck with gymnastics for a few years before a fracture in my low back forced me to quit. In a funny turn of events, I actually returned to dance (not as much ballet, but more jazz and hip-hop), and again I found space to lean into my love of exercise and movement. Three-year-old Denika found her way back into a dance studio, and — with a lot more patience and self-control — fell in love with it.
When I talk to women about their exercise routines, I often hear them describe something that feels rigid, intimidating or downright awful. The motivation to exercise comes from being unhappy with the way they look, and they feel stuck in a cycle of having to do workouts they hate for the rest of their life in order to keep their weight under control and feel good about how they look. It’s a sad perspective, but it’s not an uncommon one!
Most women say their main reason for working out is to lose weight or control their appearance, and I can’t say I blame them. The media overflows with images and messages that tell us that how we look is not good enough, but if we try x,y or z workout plan, then we will finally have the “perfect body.” I don’t even know where to begin with how messed up that is.
I’ll start with this. Your body is amazing just the way it is. Sure, we all have things we’d like to change, and there’s nothing wrong with learning to make healthier choices. However, until you learn to love the body God gave you, there is no diet or workout plan that will help you find the confidence and peace you’re craving. Only when you build your identity off of what God says (not mainstream media) will you love the way you look. I say this because I’ve lived it.
At the same time that I was discovering my love of dance, I was also going through the normal physical changes that females experience in their teenage years, and I found myself deeply unsatisfied with my appearance. I was desperate to discover the magical combination of diet and exercise that would help me achieve the body type I wanted. I spent years pouring my energy into over-exercising, under-eating and being intensely critical of my body.
Want to know what happened? Nothing. I didn’t lose weight. My body didn’t change. And, I certainly didn’t learn to love myself more in the process. It was heartbreaking at the time, but I see now that God was bringing me to the end of my rope so that he could present himself as what I truly needed. He knew all along what I didn’t understand. Even if I got the “perfect body,” it still wouldn’t bring me the confidence and happiness for which I was longing. Only he could bring me that.
So, what did that mean for my approach to movement? It changed everything. Instead of forcing myself to do high intensity workouts for hours every day, I started to incorporate yoga into my workout routine, and through that I learned how to work with my body, rather than against it. For the first time in years I started to see my body as a vessel of life and creativity, rather than a two-dimensional image that needed to be smaller and stronger. I found my way back to the way I viewed movement as a child: an opportunity to challenge myself, practice discipline, and work with my body to learn new things. The joy for movement started to come back into my life, and it changed everything. I felt more at peace throughout the day, more confident in who I was, and I finally gained back hours of my day that I once spent in the gym.
Now I move my body in some capacity nearly every day, and it is always done with grace and out of consideration for what will make me feel my best. I haven’t worked out with the desire to change my body in some way (other than getting stronger, faster or to learn new yoga poses!) in years, and it feels amazing. My workout routine is something that brings me so much joy, and I truly look forward to it nearly every day. I’ve also learned that if I don’t feel like working out, it’s probably a sign from my body that I need rest! This allows me to take rest days without feeling guilt, shame or worrying that I’m being undisciplined. It took time to find that balance, but it’s so much better now!
If you’re someone who feels stuck in the cycle of forcing yourself to workout, longing to change your body, or just in general feeling unhappy with your workout routine, I want you to know that there is hope. It took me a long time to change my habits and mindsets, but when you invite God into the process and stay dedicated to it, true transformation will happen for you!
Not sure where to get started? I’d love to invite you to check out the Stand Unshaken Collective. It’s our signature membership space that’s designed for the woman who’s ready to make moves toward her healthiest and happiest self by creating healthy, sustainable habits in all areas of life! There are over 200 women in the membership, and it’s truly the most amazing community. If you’re looking for the right resources and support that will help you rediscover how to approach your health with grace and joy, then click below to learn more about the Collective!