It’s Not Up to You: starting a business and leaving it in God’s hands

People say that marriage is refining, but let me tell you, nothing has forced me to grow as an individual, or rely on God, the way starting a business has. Entrepreneurship has a way of bringing out the best and worst of you, and working through intense levels of self-doubt and uncertainty can be crippling at times. (Can I get an amen from all my fellow entrepreneurs?)

Over the past three years as a small business owner, God has taught me so much, but no lesson rings more true than the fact that the success of my business is not up to me. As a type A, enneagram 3, I like to be in control. It makes me feel safe when I believe the results I earn will be a direct result of the effort I put in. Sometimes this is true, but I’m learning more and more that when it comes to doing Kingdom work, we will never be in control - only God is.

When I launched the Stand Unshaken membership at the beginning of the year, I had no idea what to expect. I wasn’t sure if I would have a single person sign up, but I knew with full confidence that this was the work God was calling me to. I prayed every day that God would bring the right people to the membership, and that it would bless people in dramatic ways. We worked quietly for months, God and me and anyone who was willing to let me bounce ideas off of them. It was hard work, but I loved every minute. It felt like I was creating something special, and I knew that I was responding to that which the Lord was calling me.

I spent six months joyfully preparing for our launch, and when it finally came I was bursting with excitement to share it with the world. We had over 100 people sign up after our first launch, and I was genuinely shocked that God orchestrated such a beautiful response to the work I was doing!

Then slowly but surely, once the membership was out there, fear started to set in. Suddenly I felt like I had to do everything perfectly, to show up 100% in every way, and to be adding more and more members. Once there were real people on the other side of the screen, it stopped being about me, God and the dream He had placed in my heart. I stopped trusting God and started putting all of the pressure onto myself. The membership shifted from feeling like a joyful project I was working on with God to one that had me overwhelmed with stress every day. Things were going better than I could have asked for, and yet every day I was afraid of letting people down. I started to wonder what had caused such a dramatic shift in my spirit.

I believe it’s something many believers experience when pursuing a God-sized dream. We start inside this prayerful bubble with God where we move forward in faith and trust that he will provide. Everything feels fun and exciting - like at the beginning of a new relationship! Then, once we take this dream out into the world, it becomes blurry and the opinions of others can start to crowd out God’s voice. We start believing that success is up to us, and we only come to God with half-hearted prayers for strength before we dive back into work. Our worldly expectations start to get in the way of our Kingdom calling. This approach is often unsustainable, unsuccessful and - not to mention - unbiblical. 

So, what should we do instead?

I know that sitting around and not doing the work isn’t the answer, but what is the correct response to this kind of feeling? What do we replace our need for control with? I think there is only one option. The less exciting, much more challenging alternative of trust. We have to release control and learn to trust God instead. Yikes.

If the Bible talks over and over again about the value of trusting God and how much better it is to live that way, then tell me why it’s so hard to do it. Why am I still tempted to put more time, energy or money into achieving the results I want, instead of sitting back and trusting the results that God has planned?

I think it’s just that. When I’m in control, I can trick myself into believing that, if I work hard enough, I can achieve the results I want when I want them, but if I choose to trust God, then I have to release not only my work but also my timeline. I have to trust that his timing and his path are better than those I’ve created for myself.

So, how do we learn to truly trust? It comes down to faith. Faith breeds trust.

Do you have faith that God has good plans for you? Do you have faith that he will work all things together for good, even when you don’t understand or can’t see the full picture? 

When I try to rationalize trusting God based on my own understanding it usually leads to frustration and uncertainty. When I feel this way, I always find comfort in Isaiah 55:8-9, which says, “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.’” 

Part of faith is trusting God even when we don’t understand. It’s acknowledging that he - not us - has the full picture, and that if we could see what he sees we wouldn’t be afraid to step back and rely on his plan.

Rather than trying harder to trust, we can lean more deeply into God’s promise and the truth that he is good. We can look at our past experiences and be reminded that God knew what he was doing. Sometimes I think back to all of my “unanswered prayers,” and I praise God for knowing better than I did. If hindsight gives me the ability to see that God knew best all along, why can’t I take that lens and look forward? I might know what I want now, but God knows what will be best long term, and that I can trust in.

So, what does this mean for me tomorrow?

It means that I will start my day in prayer and will choose to surrender my hopes and dreams to the Lord with the faith that he will handle them perfectly. I will do my best to choose peace over anxiety, and trust over control, when I become tempted to buy into the lie that it is all up to me. I will return to scripture for reminders of how God has provided for others in the past, and I will reflect with gratitude on the ways he has provided for me. 

I hope you’ll choose to do the same.