Self-Care: How to Become the Best Version of You
What images appear in your mind when you hear the term “self-care”? A relaxing massage? A shopping spree? A satisfying workout? A quiet night at home with a good book? A binge session of your favorite show on Netflix while curled up with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s?
What feelings come up for you as you begin to picture these things? Joy? Guilt? Anxiety? Longing? Frustration? Take a moment to observe yourself, and make a mental note.
Self-care is a fairly general term that has grown in popularity in recent years. It covers a wide range of activities, and is often used simply as an explanation for doing anything one feels like doing at any given moment.
But what if there’s more to it? Could it be that we’re not seeing the bigger picture, and missing out on the kind of life we were meant to live?
Here’s what I believe: Self-care equals BALANCE.
Physically, balancing takes a great deal of focus, determination, and intentional effort. It takes breath and strength and tiny micro-adjustments. And it’s the same across every other area of our lives — emotional, mental, and spiritual.
It’s easy to lean too far to one side or the other. Self-care can either be 1. a fear-inducing idea for a person who is addicted to “busy” and avoids rest, or 2. an excuse for self-indulgence and unhealthy habits.
This might be an unpopular opinion when it comes to culture, but I believe that self-care doesn’t ALWAYS mean doing what you feel like in the moment you feel like doing it!
Rather, I believe it’s a deep, thoughtful intention to honor yourself. As my counselor has often reminded me, you are the only one who can take care of your own heart, and it’s your privilege and responsibility to be kind to it.
There’s a world of difference between simply numbing vs. proactively caring for yourself. Self-care means paying attention to what’s going on inside you, not avoiding it by compulsively giving in to a coping mechanism. It means asking yourself questions and analyzing your decisions rather than simply acting instinctually.
So before you choose to do something with your time, ask yourself, How will I feel after this? Will I feel better? Will this help me become more like the person I want to be? Or will I regret this later? Do I NEED this, or do I need something else instead?
Because sometimes, what we truly NEED isn’t what we think we need. We humans are fickle creatures and our desires constantly fluctuate based on a complex set of conditions. Sometimes self-care does mean having a movie marathon and eating ice cream. But the key factor is AWARENESS. So before you indulge, think: Is this an unhealthy habit or a one-time thing? Am I enjoying the indulgence or just mindlessly consuming to avoid something else?
Sometimes, self-care means going AGAINST your natural instincts and listening to your better judgment — like going for a run when you don’t feel like it, or reaching out to a friend when you feel like isolating. Self-care isn’t an excuse for socially acceptable laziness or complacency because there’s a cute label for it… It means working hard to achieve balance, taking a break when you need it, and releasing stress from your life.
It’s about knowing yourself and doing what you truly need to fill your cup so that you can be the best version of yourself and freely pour out love to the world around you. It’s about observing your cravings and questioning what’s really important in your life. It’s about taking a step back and asking for clarity as your momentary desires reveal the greater longings of your heart. (It might be helpful for you to do a life assessment — check out this post to find out how!)
Perhaps resistance is rising inside you to this concept. Two of the most popular excuses for not being able to practice self-care are lack of time and lack of money.
First of all, if you’re reading this in early 2020, one argument is now irrelevant for most people. Across the world, millions of people are being affected by the global COVID-19 pandemic. And while it’s a difficult season for so many reasons, there is so much good in the midst of it. We’ve been given the gift of indefinite time just to BE. And I encourage you not to waste this gift. Embrace the stillness. Approach yourself with curiosity. Discover who you were meant to be.
And while many may be limited in our financial resources at this time, there are SO many things you can do to care for yourself that don’t cost a penny! Here’s a list of just a few practical ways you can practice self-care today:
Create a sleep routine and get that rest! (Here’s a free guide to help!)
Heal your gut and improve your health through food. (Here’s a great post to learn more!)
Exercise and get those endorphins pumping! (Check out this amazing program to give you a jumpstart!)
Enjoy food and cook nourishing meals at home to share with people you love. (Here are three easy recipes to try!)
Set boundaries for yourself and practice saying “no” where you need to. (It’s so freeing!)
Take a walk in nature and appreciate the little things — birds singing, sunshine on your skin, trees blowing in the wind. It’s healing.
Try journaling daily and use it as an avenue to release and work through all the thoughts and feelings inside you.
Organize or do a deep clean of your house! It makes you feel AWESOME.
Read a good book — even fiction, just for the fun of it!
Be a kid again! Do things you loved as a child and give yourself the freedom to play!
Lastly, and MOST importantly, spend time in prayer and worship. I can promise you, your life will transform the more you sit with Jesus! (Here’s a great resource to get you started!)
How do you see yourself? Do you believe you’re worthy of love and attention? Do you believe that you’re worth caring for? Ultimately I believe learning how to care for ourselves comes down to seeing ourselves through God’s eyes.
As the One who created you, who formed every aspect of your personhood — his opinion should be the most important of all. He says that YOU are worth more than life itself. And if someone so pure and good would gladly give his life for you, don’t you think you’re worth the time it takes to slow down and care for your beautiful soul — the one he shed his blood to love?
Take care of yourself today, friend. (You’ll thank yourself later!)
Warmly,
Kailyn Julianna
PS. Was this helpful for you? What are you learning on your journey? Share in the comments!
