Rhythms for When You Need a Reset
In the last five years, I’ve lived in four cities and spent a summer in a fifth. To say change has been a consistent part of my life is an understatement. Whether the reason for moving was transferring universities or moving for my job (twice), it doesn’t feel like it ever truly gets easier to pack up the familiar and move to the unknown. Throughout the years, though, I feel like I’ve learned a thing or two when it comes to adapting to a new place, and I’d love to share with you the rhythms that have helped me stay sane when things around me are ever changing.
Make an effort to stay in touch with the friends you’re leaving behind. Yes. I have lost friendships because of a move, but there are friendships that have grown in strength with distance. One of my best friends and I have been friends since my freshman year of high school, and we haven’t lived in the same place for the last four years. However, as I write this, I’m packed and ready to visit her this weekend for her birthday! Another best friend and I lived together last year until I moved away for my job, but we talk on the phone throughout the week and make an effort to see each other (whether meeting halfway or visiting each other at home) at least once a month. My best friends have kept me grounded, even though we don’t live in the same city - or even state - anymore.
If you’ve seen a counselor in the past for maintenance of your mental health, I would encourage you to start seeing one again when you find yourself in need of a reset. This has been really helpful to me when I’ve moved! There have been several times I’ve talked myself out of going back to counseling, but I’ve learned that when you put in the hard work, much joy and healing are to come from your effort.
Move your body. I will be the first to tell you that this is one part of my life I tend to neglect when things get hard, when I’m feeling depressed, or when I’m overwhelmed by change. When I moved back to Tennessee in August, I had been raising financial support for my ministry job since May, and I was close to burn out. I still had a way to go, and staring at my computer screen while I sat in meetings with people all day in a new city was not doing anything for me. Going to a gym has long intimidated me, but I decided that I’d go to my apartment’s gym just a few days a week. I could tell a difference in how I was feeling almost immediately. I now incorporate walks throughout the week just to clear my head, and I look forward to them so much!
Begin to surround yourself with new people. When you move to a new place, this is easy. But, if you need a reset in the place you’ve lived for many years, consider getting involved with a different church small group, or even look for a new church altogether. Take your dog to the dog park, bake cookies for your neighbors, or check out local events happening where you live. I met my best friends in the most ordinary ways - one in a high school classroom, one at church, one through a bible study with my college ministry. Actively seeking to engage with new people will take you out of your comfort zone and might just bring you to the place you’ve been longing to be!
Challenge yourself to something, whether it be reading a certain amount of books in a year or to pick up a new skill or hobby. When I moved to Tennessee, I moved in with two women that have become great friends of mine. They both enjoy camping, something I’d never done before meeting them. Since August, though, I’ve been camping twice - tent camping in New Hampshire and car camping in eastern Tennessee. I’ve learned that I really enjoy camping, but if I hadn’t tried, I might have never known! It’s become a fun thing to plan camping trips with my roommates, and to look forward to the adventures that are to come!
Though all of these rhythms might not work for you, I’d encourage you to give at least one - or really all of them - a try. I’ve been encouraged with just how much my mental state has improved, how much I’ve grown and learned, and how much fun I’ve had since moving to Tennessee. So, whether you just moved or are looking to change some things in your life, I wish you all the best. Let me know in the comments if you try out one of these practices, or if you have another idea of your own!