Doing the things that scare me
Today I’m taking a step toward overcoming my fear of sharing my writing and thoughts with others.
This fear honestly seems a bit ironic to me (and maybe to you, too) because I have a degree in journalism. Not to mention, much of the work I do as a communications manager, copywriter and virtual assistant is writing.
However, it’s not always my writing that’s really being shared. Sure. I’m the one writing the words, but it isn’t my personal story or my thoughts going out into the world. I’m often communicating someone else’s story.
And, it’s the work I love to do. Helping others communicate their stories is something I love. It’s why I studied journalism and Arabic in college, and it’s why I do the work that I do.
People deserve to be heard, and they deserve to have their stories communicated.
But, I’ve not always been sure that was true for me.
Isn’t it funny (and sad) that the things we believe so fervently and passionately for other people are often the things we believe least for ourselves?
Now, I was always the shy kid growing up. I was well behaved and intelligent, so I could be left alone and not bothered much. I was comfortable there. I didn’t want most people to notice me much.
Or, at least I thought I didn’t. It was easier to not be out there for the world to see. My teachers wanted to recognize me for a job well done? That was fine! I could submit my homework, essays and projects, and they’d be the only ones to see it. Only after they graded my work as excellent was it maybe shown to others. I could handle that. My work (and thus me) had already been pre-approved as worthy by someone of authority.
This fear, I’m sure, ultimately goes back to my greater fear of failure (perhaps we’ll tackle that bad boy another day). I’ve never been able to stand failing, specifically in front of other people.
For instance, I didn’t learn to ride my bike until I was 13. Even then, I asked my dad to go inside after a few runs because I hated the idea of him watching me fail so miserably. I finally taught myself how to ride a bike in my backyard where no one else could see.
I also purposely lost a history bee in middle school because I was so afraid to be wrong that I wouldn’t hit the buzzer to answer questions.
It’s always been one thing to be wrong about facts or events pertaining to other people and what they’ve done or thought, but it’s been another thing entirely to have people potentially think I was wrong, unintelligent or no good.
That’s why I haven’t shared my own writing anywhere. I’ve never thought my stories or thoughts were good enough. I never thought they were worth other people reading. I’m just boring, little-life-experience Katelyn. Everyone else’s lives are unbelievably important and impressive, but mine isn’t. Let’s share only their stories instead.
But, we’re working toward overcoming that lie and fear today.
Even if no one ever reads or approves of this post, it will have been worth it. I’m sharing my fears with this little space on the internet. Even if it’s just me.
However, maybe this means something to you, if you’ve made it all the way to this point in my post. Perhaps you needed to know there was someone else out there who was tired of hiding behind and coping in their fears.
So, if you are here, I just want to say: welcome, friend. I hope you like it here!
Today we’ve made one small step to overcoming the fear of sharing our thoughts with the rest of the world. We don’t have to be loud or overwhelming - and we don’t even need a large audience - in order to do it. We just need to show up thoughtfully and genuinely where we are. So, my friend, welcome to this safe space. Let’s overcome together.
Hey there, friend! If you’ve made it this far into my blog post, I just want to give you an extra big thanks! It means so much to me that you would read something I’ve written. This is actually a post originally from my Substack. So, if you enjoyed this post and would be interested in reading more like it, you can follow along at this link! Whether or not you decide to follow along, thanks for being here. :)